My Journey From Pack Mule to Unicorn

After those layoffs, I remember thinking that the best way to be “safe” resided in the false narrative that the more I could carry, the more valued I’d be, and my job would always be safe. This created a vicious cycle where I was overworked, overwhelmed, and unable to voice my needs. While carrying a heavy load may seem valuable, ultimately, the burnout you face will negatively affect your firm, too. My logic wasn’t working. Why wasn’t I moving forward when I was carrying so much? That’s when I discovered the truth. Mules don’t get promoted… unicorns do.

I reached out to my friend Rachelle Ray, a fierce advocate for proposal professionals, founder of PIE (proposal industry experts), and A/E/C consultant. She reminded me of a key distinction: being useful versus being invaluable. The pack mule is useful, but the unicorn is indispensable.

If you answered “yes” to most of the questions above, you may be a pack mule.

Let’s work on finding your inner unicorn. Unicorns are rare and valued. Self-reflecting on our strengths is a good way to discover your unique superpowers. Here are some things that helped me. While assessments like CliftonStrengths are valuable, I was quick to dismiss these traits as valuable- they just seemed like things I did easily. The game-changer for me was crowdsourcing the answer. I copied an exercise I saw on LinkedIn. Just before my chapter presidency, I created an anonymous survey for 10 of my closest friends. Keeping it anonymous meant that this was honest feedback! I asked them two questions:

• What work-related skill am I uniquely good at?
• What skill would you suck out of my brain and add to yours if you could?

I assumed I’d receive generic answers like “You are so friendly” or “You’re such a hard worker.” Nope! My friends highlighted my talent for making people feel welcome, my ability to connect, and my communication skills. Learning what people admire about you highlights your unique and valuable traits.

The other truth may be that your firm loves that you are a pack mule. Your usefulness serves a purpose to your company, especially if you have established unrealistic expectations. In tough times, a single mule who does the work of two is useful. Sometimes, firms don’t know that marketers can serve a greater purpose. Imagine telling that Gold Rush miner that they should have a unicorn instead of a mule. It would take some convincing. The conversation with your manager will give you important insight into your role in the firm. Either way, you need to work on boundaries. I turned to my dear friend Maisha to share her guidance.

"Drawing boundaries can be difficult to do and accept because people have a hard time hearing and saying the word no," says Maisha Christian, career coach, founder of Beauty and the Boss, and AEC veteran. " But learning to say no is important in order to protect your time, energy and workload." Christian recommends practicing phrases you can easily say when you perceive you're being pushed towards pack mule behavior. She recommends a simple phrase like "Thank you for thinking of me, but no thank you" which is both professional and direct.

Next, find ways to flex the ways you are unique and valuable. My ability to make people feel welcomed is a superpower. For my SMPS chapter, that meant leading my presidency with the goal of making everyone feel like they belonged. A highlight for my year was creating the “I Belong” campaign, highlighting the specific stories of belonging in our chapter. For my work, it means teaching my team how to build key relationships. We practice how to be gracious hosts at events and how to foster relationships with clients and partners. My superpower helps them in ways that were so much more valuable than my former mule ways.

Ray takes it further, suggesting we follow the CAPP recipe (challenge, attribute, advantage, and proof). An example she provided was,

• my technical staff hates writing (challenge) and
• I am a strong writer (attribute).
• When I interview the team member and write an approach myself, I save time, reduce anxiety, and increase the ROI of our proposals (advantage).
• I did this for these 5 projects (proof).

I can now spend less time formatting this proposal and more time helping us write winning approaches. I now move into indispensable territory and can unload some workload.

How did I start my unicorn transformation? It wasn’t easy. That fawn response was rooted deep in me. I believe the greatest gift we can give ourselves is self-awareness. To quote Taylor Swift, “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” I stopped volunteering for extra work, including travel, that did not support my professional goals. I quit operating in a sense of fear- trying to “future-proof” my job. Instead, I also looked for ways to use my specific skills to solve business problems in my firm. In my case, I noticed the stiff competition to find talented mid-career architects. One of my unicorn skills is connection. I genuinely like meeting people, even if they are competitors. Turns out, those connections helped my firm greatly during the recruiting process because those candidates already knew and liked my firm through knowing me. You can begin changing perceptions by the way you talk about yourself. For example, if you want to showcase your writing skills' value, you can tell your manager, “I’m a strong writer, so that I can coauthor this article for you.” I am helping the firm but also protecting my boundaries. I keep telling myself when you say “no” to one thing, you are saying “yes” to something else. My yes was being physically present more for my son’s senior year of high school.

Understanding the difference between pack mule and unicorn has been my career's biggest “ah ha” moment. My value doesn’t come from how much I do but from how I solve a business problem. This has given me an amazing sense of freedom. I had to let go of my identity as the “go-to” person, sometimes sitting on my hands when volunteer opportunities happen. The ironic thing is that by taking on a smaller load, I have a greater impact at work; it’s choosing value over volume. I hope my story helps you find your inner unicorn. We are all sparkly creatures- it’s time to let that horn come out.